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Unkle Munky Pg 105
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. ---- This week Munky is a preset... Artist - The Presets. Song - My People. *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- You are Under a Bagel. Sam from Hull asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I wrote to you last week regarding my shock at a recent rejection letter. I was just wondering if you had managed to follow it up? Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Sam, I have contacted your local 'Police force training centre' and have it on good authority that your failure to make the grade was based upon your inability to cite the official police warning without offering the suspect a bagel. I have taken the liberty of appending the full transcript of your adapted caution below... "You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may affect your rights to freely consume a delicious bagel during your time at the police station". ---- Munky Memo. Mary, I'm just popping to the corner shop for a bagel. The previous item has left me ravenous and no mistake. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Yeah, okay. Whatever...'' ---- Bungle's Barely Olympic News. ---- Bagel Anomaly. ''Munky, why is there a miserable looking beagle in reception?'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Ahem. There was a slight mix up at the bagel counter, Ms. Sickness. ''Ms. Motion Sickness replies - Give me strength.'' ---- Flash. Mick from Derby asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I have been banned from Superdrug because of an indecent exposure incident. I was merely attempting to take a snap of my genitals in their self-serving photo booth. Can they do this? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Mick, It would appear to me that you have been treated very shoddily indeed. After all, any imperfections relating to inadequate exposure times are surely a fault of the machine? Mick replies - Yeah, that's what I thought. ''Jeezus...'' ---- More Bungle's Barely Olympic News. ---- Fancy That... Richard from Dartmouth asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that you can be arrested for impersonating a police officer, or is my friend just jealous of my fancy dress costume? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Richard, It depends on how bad the impersonation is. ---- UK Munky Gold TV Trailer. George Michael bares more than just his soul in this revealing exclusive. Friday, 9 pm UK Munky Gold +1. 'Reviews -' Munky's obsession with automated flushing mechanisms seemed to bog down the whole interview. ''Celebrity Cottaging Magazine.'' Munky's attempt to reenact the incident was bound to end in tears. ''Does Your Mother Know?'' (Abba Fanzine - Gossip Pages). It soon became apparent that Munky was merely interviewing a novelty lamp shade. ''Interviewing for Beginners - How not to do it.'' Getting a colonic irrigation would be preferable to sitting through this shit again. ''Amy Knitwear.'' ---- Give us a Clue. Matthew from Alton asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I was meant to be meeting a girl at my local internet cafe today. She said I would recognise her by the way that she blushes when she's considering various aspects of love and romance. I can't see her anywhere! What can I do? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Matthew, Don't worry. This is typical female behaviour. Women seem to think that we are mind readers and no mistake! Simply requesting that she 'consider various aspects of love and romance' with her tits out should put an end to your quandary. ---- Complaint. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Dear Unkle Munky, I have received numerous complaints this morning in response to the previous query.'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Sadly, Ms. Motion Sickness, I am forced to adhere to stringent 'British Board of Agony' guidelines regarding nudity. The censoring of that young woman's tits has left me on a bit of a downer too. ''Ms. Motion Sickness replies - Oh fer god's sake!' ---- Next... Previous... Munky's Memos... Return to Munky Menu...